Shmanmuta: a sever-year old first grader’s way of telling me that I am fat. (I felt the need to tell you that he is seven years old and yet still in the first grade, so that you understand who this kid might be.) Now, don’t get me wrong; I’m not starting a diet over something that a half-wit first grader said about me in the after-school care center that I work at. I’ve just started to feel my pant get a bit tight on me, and I seriously do NOT like it. The kid just got me angry enough at myself (and him) to really want to do something about it.
Now, I have an issue with diets. I did it once, very successfully, I lost about 25 kilograms, and it’s not like I gained it all back, but those 25 weren’t enough in the first place, and the 10 that I gained back are worse still.
Now allow me to go back a bit. I was always a pretty heavy kid. All throughout high school, I struggled with self-esteem issues that were closely related to my weight. So, when my mom joined a diet group (a healthy one, promise) on January after my senior year of high school, I joined it with her. And together, we started losing weight. I lost 18 kilos by April, when I joined the army (I am from Israel, it is mandatory here). There I lost another 7 kilos during basic training. After that, I stopped my diet for a while, then went back to it for a bit, then stopped again; it went like that for my two years of service, and I gained a few kilos back. Nothing serious, but I’m still way overweight, so it’s a real setback.
After being released from the army this past April, I traveled around Europe for a bit, and the worked at a Jewish American summer camp, then traveled the East Coast, gaining more weight as I went on, before coming back home, and getting my job back at the after school care center (I worked there before starting my service).
And now, here I am. Fat and pissed off about it. I know that half of the reason that I was able to lose weight last time and stick to my diet is because I was part of a group, but I don’t have the money that it takes to rejoin them, as I am saving up for my studies in January. So, I decided that maybe this will help. A diet blog. honestly though, I don’t think that writing recipes, uploading inspirational posts off of Google or Tumblr and making “honest” lists of what I eat online is what’s going to help me. For now, my plan is to go back to the diet that I was on in the group (it’s a really easy diet to follow if you have a bit of time an energy to put into preparing food), and to vent about whatever it is that I have to vent about that day. May it be my job (or the kids at my job), food, my family, whatever it is that I have on my mind. This blog will be a non-food related outlet for me. I think that is what I need.
And so, dear people of the internet, wish me good luck. Because, honestly? I’m going to need it.
With Love,
Shmanmuta
Shmanmuta 